The worst Fashion statement ever!

Fashion (A)
Cast: Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut, Arbaaz Khan, Samir Soni
Direction: Madhur Bhandarkar

After Page 3’s success, Madhur Bhandarkar has comfortably settled into his self-created niche: as the obliging voyeuristic camera for the middle-class. He is banking the masses obsession with the lives of the rich and the famous and its (masses) desperate need to be consoled that it’s own unglamorous lifestyle is somehow morally superior to the lives of the uber fashionable and that women smoking and homosexuality are deviant habits and of only the very wealthy.

So in compliance to age-old stereotypes, we have a small-town girl shake her head apologetically when offered cigarettes or wine, only to grab at both when she gets successful. And finally, since the good always wins and the good girl never smokes or drinks, she is back to mouthing her polite ‘no’s’ in the end.

The story is about models trying to make it in the glitzy world of fashion. While one model, who enjoys the coveted position of being the ‘face’ of a popular fashion magazine, is on her way down, the other struggling model is catwalking her way up. Priyanka and Kangana, who play the two parts, look stunning with enviable wardrobes. But Priyanka does not appear young enough and Kangana needs some serious work on her diction. Despite the heavy borrowing from true incidents, neither of their stories pull any heart strings. Except for that much-hyped wardrobe malfunction sequence. Well-taken shot indeed. In only Madhur could have stuck to editing like that. Also, I loved the matter-of-fact (as matter-of-fact as Hindi drama allows you) way Priyanka aborts her baby.

What made no sense was the new model-actress (Mugdha Godse) to marry her gay-friend. Made no sense at all.

It’s hard to ignore the depiction of all designers as gay men and all models as straight women (except for one male model, on whom there isn’t enough focus to right the imbalance). Equally surprising, given the importance clothes have in the industry, is that there is scarce a reference to brands or labels. The glaring problem seems to be Madhur picking on an industry he knows little about and most unlikely, respects. About homosexuality, there was absolutely no sensitivity involved. Everytime one gay hit on another or spoke about his boyfriend, it only invited guffaws from the audience, like it was obviously designed to.

Why, oh why, this obsession with cigarettes and drug abuse and promiscuity? Aren't there other problems in the industry or (given his preoccupation) with models? Like anorexia, long hours, the age-limit, etc, etc? So one-track his mind seems to have been, che!

Music by Salim-Sulaiman adds the required chutzpah to the models as they briskly twirl under the arch-lights. Quite like the sound track, whenever I found myself listening to it. The few instances when transitions in character and plot are dealt with quickly are great (like Priyanka getting physical with Arbaaz or her in the auto after she sleeps with a stranger). The emphasis here is on ‘few’. At nearly 3-hours, the movie is just way too long.

The whole 20 minutes after she returns to Chandigarh are terribly done. ONE YEAR??? One year she doesn't do anything except to stare listlessly into space? Pulllease!

It is with some amusement that one watches Madhur do a cameo and then have a model call his cinema “realistic”. Truuuph! Wise of him to then, post-production, publicly state that Fashion is actually not about the fashion industry. Bang on, dude. And next time don't even claim to have done research. It insults your intelligence.