And till about an hour into the movie, I was really wondering why. The movie goes at neck breaking speed for the first 20 mins. You are first introduced to the Southall United football team. The very next scene the bad guys (the unconvincing cold-gori-bitch) threaten to take away the club's ground if they dont come up with some money to renew the lease. At this point you already know how the story will go. The team will win the trophy and the ground will remain theirs. Fine it might have been important to establish the goodintentionedheart and not-because-I-just-want-to-win-the-blasted-cup guys. But did Arshad Warsi (Shaan, the captain of the team in the movie) have to pepper his lines with stuff like 'you (British) were in our country for hundred years and we got you outta there without lifting a finger. you think we'll just like that give you our land?' Very unwanted and from what I could see didn't really cut with the audience either. The very next scene the club owner dies and just like that Shaan, who is almost a son, promises to win the trophy. Continuing in the blink-and-miss progress of story, Shaan finds them a coach in Tony Singh (Boman Irani), who most predictably has left the sport and has an alcoholic problem (never revisited again in the story). Despite all the traumatic past, all it takes is one super corny line from Shaan to convince Tony to coach their team and he does.
What pained me at almost every point in the movie is the potential of what the director could have achieved. He had a story of how an underdog asian team make it to the top of the local heap. You look at that and think gosh, he could have actually shown pakistanis and indians in the same team. He could have touched upon cross-culture marriages or maybe people struggling to make a living out of sport. Oh he could have done sooo much! But on all counts Vivek Agnihotri fails. Even the racism he supposedly portrays make ALL Britishers look evil and mean. It was so one-sided that at the end of it every time the Indians said 'yeh gore log' (these white people) it sounded racist. Indeed, I think it was. It is so sad that in this day and age a director has to resort to making Indians look like victims to score some box office points. I immediately thought of Bend it like Beckham (a story of an Indian girl play football in the UK). It did have racism in it, but it was done so well. It showed both kind of British - the racists and the non-racists. That balance is so important to a movie. I couldnt help wondering what Shaan's wife (who is white in the movie) might have said to all his 'gora log' slandering.
The most disappointing aspect was that the entire team was Indian, not Asian (though they keep talking of it as an Asian team). Infact, to Vivek Asian seems to mean North Indian wonly. And almost completely punjabi.
The jingoistic tone continues with every turn in the movie and begins to get on your nerves. There is one scene when John asks his dad, what I wish had been answered, "If you are so fond of India, why are you still here? If you wanted me to be Indian, why give birth to me here and make me a British Citizen? Why confuse me?” The question though asked is met with silence. Pity, I wish the writer/direct had an answer, because it would have helped convince me that the characters were not hypocrites and parasites living off a country they speak ill about.
Also the constant weeping and crying that makes no sense. And the billo song was so begging to be edited.. it just jarred your senses.
The second half is a lot more tolerable, though the weeping quotient increases. John Abraham (Sunny - the snotty but gifted striker)'s oh so-cocky smiles gets a tad repetitive. But since it make him look extremely hot, (see pic) so you do actually forgive the excess. He does look like he knows how to play, which cannot be said of Arshad Warsi or Raj Zutshi (Monty Singh). Btw, the overdose of 'Singh' in this movie is killing!The climax is good but predictable. Every shot had me excited, till the point they start to streeeeeetch it. John runs towards the ball in sloooow motion. There is pain on his face. The ball is kicked. You see it spinning sloooowly. Arshad's mouth is working sloooowly. John is still looking pained. A little girl in the stand is looking horrified. Boman is freaking out.. in slow motion. The ball is still spining. John is still running. Oh god get on with it, you want to shout. Of course the damn thing is going in for a goal. Is this supposed to be a suspense? Am I supposed to wonder if John is or is not going to save the day? Of course he will. And for super noble reasons too. And almost die in the attempt (yes in bollywood, even sports fields are death mines).
The movie has it nice moments. But Vivek kills it in no time. Like the visit to Manchester United. No football fan I am, but the scene impressed me. Right up till Boman starts hamming in the locker room about champions. God if he was hamming imagine the rest. Also the points in the fillum where it looked like some real football was being played were good.
Would I recommend the movie to anyone? Nope. I spent 230 on the ticket (I still cant believe it, when did movie watching get so expensive in Bangalore?) and 150 on travel and 160 on food. Thats Rs 560 (or two tees, or one one fab india kurta, or two cocktails, or whichever way you want to see it) down the bloody drain!
Rating: ** and a tiny bit more
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